Parent Care is Child Care: How Your Mental Health Supports Your Child's Emotional Well-Being

As a child therapist, my primary focus is working with kids—helping them process emotions, build resilience, and learn to trust and accept themselves. One thing I want to communicate or remind parents is: parent mental health plays a significant role in your child’s emotional well-being. Play therapy offers children a safe and supportive space to heal and grow, AND the difference self-care for parents and modeling emotional regulation for kids can make is genuinely profound.

Children are naturally egocentric, which simply means they interpret what happens around them as somehow tied to them, even when it’s not. For example, if a parent is overwhelmed or distant due to stress, kids may unconsciously absorb the message, “I must have done something wrong.” Of course, this isn’t their fault—it’s just how their developing minds work. However, it is a powerful reminder that our actions as adults can deeply affect the way children see themselves and the world. That’s why taking care of your own mental health isn’t just a gift to yourself or a way for you to process trauma and learn tools—it’s a gift to your child. When parents model the ability to emotionally regulate, practice self-care, and show a willingness to work on their emotional well-being, they act as a model for their children and send a message to them that can communicate: “It’s okay to have feelings. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to take care of yourself.”

This 100 % does not mean you have to have it all figured out or be “perfect” (whatever that means). In fact, showing your child that you’re working on yourself is often more powerful than pretending to have all the answers, and it's not a realistic expectation. Kids don’t need perfection; they need authenticity, just like we all do. They need to see that it’s possible to face challenges and navigate their emotions in healthy ways, especially from the adults they're closest to—you. Kids learn so much by watching us. They learn how to handle frustration when they see how we respond to setbacks in a healthy way. They learn how to process emotions when we share ours in age-appropriate ways. And they learn that self-care isn’t selfish when we show them it’s a priority to us.

This isn’t to say that your child can’t heal unless you’re in therapy or doing all the “right” things. That is also 100% not true. Children are naturally geared toward growth and healing when given the right support, and play therapy provides them with a safe space to process and work through their emotions, no matter what’s happening around them. However, when a parent is also doing the work—whether that’s therapy, journaling, setting boundaries, or just taking time to recharge—it can strengthen and magnify what we’re working on in the therapy room.

Ultimately, this isn’t about pressure—it’s about perspective. Kids are incredibly resilient, and they can heal even when circumstances aren’t ideal. But when parents take steps toward their own emotional health, it not only supports their child’s growth—it strengthens the bond between them and sets the foundation for healthier relationships in the long run.

So if you’re working on your own well-being alongside your child, know that this is one of the most powerful ways to care for your child. You’re giving them a gift—an authentic and lasting example of what it looks like to value yourself and your emotional well-being/mental health. And that’s one of the best things you can do for them!